


maybe i'll get drunk again

by threevolt



Series: when skies are grey [3]
Category: Fifth Harmony (Band), fifth harmony - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/F, Two Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-18
Updated: 2014-04-22
Packaged: 2017-12-23 20:35:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/930842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threevolt/pseuds/threevolt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(to feel a little love)</p><p>Camila and Lauren's first and last* intimate drunken encounters with each other<br/>third-person, past tense, Camila's POV (pt 1);<br/>third-person, past tense, Lauren's POV (pt 2)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i wanna hold your heart in both hands

Camila got up after a bit of effort and stumbled her way to the back of the bus. She felt light-headed, but good. She felt like maybe she could fly. Alcohol was weird, but it wasn’t as bad as she used to think. It just made her loosen up a bit more, and happier. Her hand tried to turn the bathroom door handle, though it wouldn’t open. She shook it, thinking that would work, but the door stayed shut.

“Jeez, hold ooon!” she heard Normani yell from the other side of the door. 

Camila just scoffed and turned to walk the other way. She made her way past her friends, and felt someone tug on her hand, and it felt warm, though she ignored it and kept walking. Soon, she found herself outside and leaned against the bus. It was nice to feel the fresh air on her face. It was starting to feel more crowded inside as everyone went past tipsy to drunk. Everyone was getting louder and crazier by the second and Camila was overwhelmed. Sure, it was fun, but it was all still new to her. There were too many thoughts running through her mind and urges in her body, and she didn’t know how to sort through it all. As loud as her mind was shouting from all different directions in her head, she could barely hear the thoughts. She closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind a little, just enjoying the night air.

Suddenly, she felt a body pressed against her. She didn’t have to look to know that it was Lauren. Although Camila had gone outside to catch a breath, the other girl’s presence wasn’t suffocating. She wanted to breathe more of her in. Her arms automatically went around her neck, pulling her in closer. She felt Lauren wrap her arms around her waist, and they held each other for a while. Lauren always knew what she needed, and her mere presence was usually just that. Camila leaned her head back against the cargo door, and Lauren’s buried her face in her neck. Lips started to press against her skin, and a tingling sensation shot throughout her body. Her eyes opened in an instant, shocked, but it was too dark to see much of anything around them, and Lauren wasn’t at an angle she could see very well. Lauren trailed the kisses up to her jaw as one of her hands travelled up the younger girl’s side. Camila held on tighter.

“Camila,” Lauren’s low, husky voice called softly when she pulled away.

“Mmm,” Camila responded, wanting the feeling of her lips back on her skin. She didn’t know how they had gotten to this point, but wasn’t very surprised. The alcohol seemed to be the last boost of confidence they both needed to go after what they wanted. Lauren was facing her properly now, and she could almost clearly see her features. The alcohol made things a little blurry, though. 

Lauren smiled and brought a hand up to hold the side of Camila’s face. Her fingers stroked her cheek as her eyes glanced back and forth from her eyes to her lips. Both girls’ pupils were dilated as they watched each other for any and every reaction.

“This doesn’t change anything, okay?” Lauren spoke slowly and carefully. It was as if she was pleading for Camila to understand what was happening. She didn’t fully understand, though. All she knew was that it was just her and Lauren in the moment, their bodies so much closer than they’ve ever been. This was right where she wanted to be, and all her inhibitions were gone, at least for the moment. 

Camila looked intently at Lauren as she tried to make sense of her thoughts. Her mind was a mess, but anything and everything she could decipher at present was all Lauren. With the older girl pressed right up against her body, and their faces merely a few inches from each other’s, all Camila could do was keep taking in the sight of her. There were entire galaxies in Lauren’s eyes that she couldn’t even begin to fathom, but she wanted to venture as deep into them as she would allow her to. 

Camila nodded vigorously in response to her question. She didn’t really understand what she meant, and it was pretty ridiculous to claim that things would be the same after tonight. She just wanted Lauren to stop talking already so she could put those lips to better use. Her hands moved up and her fingers tangled into her hair, letting her know that she wanted her _now_. She wanted Lauren to want her just as urgently.

“I still love you the same, you know that, right? _Pase lo que pase_ ,” Lauren added in a whisper. Her heart was beating much too quickly and Camila couldn’t do anything else but nod again desperately, with the word ‘love’ ringing in her ears, before Lauren finally closed the space between their lips. 

Camila didn’t know what she expected, really. All those times she’d stared at Lauren’s lips, wondering what they would feel like on hers, and how they would taste, didn’t prepare her at all. Their lips parted quickly, and the next thing she knew Lauren’s tongue was in her mouth. She tasted like sunset blush. Although, she supposed they both did. Everything was happening so quickly—one second their tongues were pushing against each other, and the next Lauren was pulling at her bottom lip with her teeth. She heard a moan but she wasn’t sure who it came from. Things had started to blend together, like her hand up Lauren’s shirt playing with the material of her bra, and Lauren’s thigh between her legs creating friction that she needed _more_ of.

Her hands roamed, wanting to touch every inch of skin she could under Lauren’s shirt. Camila almost couldn’t breathe as her lips continued to move against hers, but she didn’t want to. Lauren was all that she wanted to taste, to touch, to breathe in forever. She groaned when Lauren adjusted herself so that her thigh was no longer pressing up against her centre, but then she felt her hand pulling at the waistband of her shorts. Camila pushed her hips forward against Lauren, urging her to continue with whatever she was about to do. She wanted Lauren to keep going and never stop.

She felt the older girl’s hand slip into her shorts and right into her underwear with no hesitation. It made her breath catch in her throat. Lauren’s fingers were warm, but they still made her shiver. Her hands grabbed onto Lauren’s shirt and tugged in reaction to what she was doing to her. Their kisses turned lazy as their focus turned to what was going on lower. Lauren’s fingers slid up, _right there against her_ , in the most perfect way. Her body froze, and she felt Lauren pull her hand away. Camila didn’t know whether to be disappointed or relieved, since she didn’t know how to respond to Lauren’s actions.

Feeling her pull back, she looked into Lauren’s eyes and was so overwhelmed with emotion. Lauren looked just as nervous as she felt. Her lips parted to speak, but she couldn’t find her voice. She’d stopped breathing in air, because everything she was taking in was just _Lauren_. The words “I love you,” wanted to come out, but Camila couldn’t say them. There was so much more in the moment that she was feeling and wanted her to know. She wanted Lauren to know how much she loved her, and how much she needed her—needed this. Camila wanted them both to stay here forever, to revel in each other’s bodies and fully give in to the attraction they both felt. But her throat felt constricted in fear. Instead, she shouted her thoughts at Lauren, hoping she would hear her. Lauren was usually on the same wavelength as she was. Afraid of what she’d find in her expression, however, she broke their gaze and cast her eyes downwards. 

She felt the other girl’s lips return to her neck, leaving soft kisses. Her actions were gentler now, and Camila thought that maybe this was what she needed more than their earlier, desperate touches. She craved an intimacy that she never knew, before now, even existed. She reached for Lauren’s hands and intertwined their fingers as a smile crept onto her face.

“Lauren? Are you still out here?” She heard Logan’s voice call out, interrupting them, and she quickly looked over in his direction, her smile replaced with a look of annoyance. It was like he’d come out of nowhere. 

“Yeah, I’m here, babe,” Lauren answered after pulling away from Camila’s neck and letting go of her hands. She didn’t think he could see them properly, since he was squinting. His eyes were probably still adjusting to the dark.

Camila just stood there, too stunned to speak. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back on the bus, trying to collect every detail of what just happened so she could keep the memory as vivid as possible. She couldn’t let Logan take it all away from her just yet.

“Are you okay? What’s taking you guys so long?” She heard his voice coming closer. A sigh of relief escaped from her, knowing that they hadn’t been caught, though severely disappointed that he’d come to take Lauren back away from her.

“Just making sure Camila’s okay.”

She’d had enough of listening to the two of them. Pushing Lauren off her gently, she followed the light from the open tour bus doorway and started to head back inside. She didn’t hear any sounds of Lauren following her, however. Before stepping back in, she looked back over her shoulder and saw Logan pressed against Lauren, who was now the one leaning against the bus. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, and he was moving in closer. Camila turned away, not wanting to see him kiss the lips that, moments ago, were just on hers.


	2. i know i'll never hold you like i used to

“Laur, please.”

Camila’s sweet, raspy voice was nectar to her ears, her expressions ambrosia. She was guarded, though. She was too good to be true, and Lauren wouldn’t let herself sink again.

“ _¿Que necesitas_ , Camila?” She meant to spit the words out harshly, though instead, her voice came out in a quiet whisper. She just couldn’t find it in herself to be angry at Camila. Although the brown-eyed girl had hurt her more than she knew, Lauren had her fair share of mistakes, and could never bring herself to do the same again.

“ _Tú._ ”

Her voice echoed in Lauren’s mind. She let the poison consume her.

She looked into those damn brown eyes as she leaned in, and Camila was all she could see. Those brown eyes looked into blurry pools of green, and they searched, as if trying to find some sort of  sign to let them know that those feelings were real—that they were right. How many times had they already tried to figure it out? It was almost exhausting, what they’d been through, but neither was prepared to let go just yet.

Quickly shutting her eyes, Lauren tried to exercise some self-restraint and turned her head to look away. She didn’t know if she could bear to gaze upon the face that she tried so hard not to see every time she closed her eyes. What was she doing? She had forced herself to think that Camila’s touch merely set off that recurring spark of lust she thought she felt whenever she allowed those invading thoughts of her to fill her mind. But since she had her so close, and right where she’d been hoping she’d be, she had to know. Camila was there right in front of her and lighting those fireworks that began to burst freely, igniting her bones, and she needed to find out what those feelings truly were before she detonated herself.

She reached for Camila’s hand and let their fingers intertwine, in the way that had always felt natural to them. Feeling something hard and cold, she looked down and caught a flash of something shiny that definitely wasn’t there before. Lauren felt her heart rise in her throat when she realised that it was on her ring finger, and glanced back up at Camila in shock. The other woman gave her a pleading look as she grasped onto Lauren’s hand more tightly, and she knew not to question it. She didn’t even want to ask, for fear of an answer she didn’t want to hear.

There was no time, and no need for words, anyway. Both women knew what they needed from each other, and they wasted no time getting there. Lauren willed herself to forget everything else—work, her other responsibilities, the separate lives they now led—the only thing she wanted to be consumed with at present was the woman who’d returned to her, even if only just for one night.

They way Camila’s lips felt against Lauren’s was perfect, just like she’d imagined. Camila’s lips, pressed right against hers, were a thousand times better than the mere memory. It was as if every touch held some bottled-up emotion, all shaken up and tossed around. Her heart had sunken so many times that she’d begun to think the feelings were lost, though a sudden explosion fizzed and bubbled up, sending the cork rocketing towards the sky and finally escaping its glass barrier.  
She led Camila to her bed, her eyes flicking momentarily to her nightstand where she’d placed the pink headband. As her gaze returned to the brown-eyed woman, it took her a few seconds to really grasp that her own eyes weren’t betraying her. Camila was here; this was _real_.

Her skin was warm, and Lauren felt as though it was breathing life back into her. Nothing felt more right than Camila’s body against hers. She buried her face in her neck and pressed her lips against the delicious skin, using her teeth so that she'd find a mark after she pulled away. The dark purple on her skin satisfied her , and Lauren smirked as she moved down her body. She couldn't keep her hands, her lips, her tongue off of Camila, and she didn't ever want to stop. There was every part of the beautiful brown-eyed girl's body that she hadn't yet touched or kissed, and she needed to know her every reaction, to feel her shivers and watch her bite the sheets and hear the sounds that escaped from her mouth.

Camila had always been beautiful before, but the view from between her thighs, watching her thrash around in so much pleasure, was the greatest sight Lauren had ever seen.  Camila looked down at her with darkened eyes, and she didn't know if she was prepared as she felt Camila's fingers tugging at her hair, pulling her up for a kiss. As soon as Camila's fingers began to stroke down her skin, she felt her mind go blank. The only thing on her mind for the rest of the night was _te amo_.

Lauren lay on her side and just watched Camila, afraid to touch her again in fear that she wasn’t really there. She didn’t know how to handle the situation. All she wanted was to know that this wasn’t all going to go away, for Camila to stay. _Quédate._ She wasn’t sure if she’d actually spoken the word out loud. Her voice probably would’ve cracked. It wasn’t as though Camila would’ve heard her, anyway. She could only hope that the sentiment she was feeling wasn’t in vain. The beautiful girl laying next to her was peacefully asleep, and she wasn’t going anywhere. Until she awoke, she was all Lauren’s.

 

She remembered feeling so empty that morning. She’d already forgotten the feeling of waking up in an empty bed, and it felt colder than it ever had before. She never thought Camila could bring herself to just leave without a single goodbye. She knew before she’d fallen asleep that it was the last time she’d ever see her in her room. The last time she would roll over in her bed to breathe in the vanilla and honey scent that the girl she loved left on the pillow. Her warmth was already gone. She buried her face in the cloth and let it sink with the feathery down. Lauren wondered what was so bad about asphyxiation. Fainting would’ve been nice, just to let go of all the dizzy thoughts. But she didn’t really want to. She never wanted to let her go.

**Author's Note:**

> edited this chapter a little 'cause i was annoyed with the previous draft


End file.
